She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. “A joke! Sir John, if you had presented yourself here an hour ago we should have greeted you in pained silence. I'd have got something nice. Why don't you try to find out how the every-day Chinese lives, how he treats his family, what his normal habits are, his hopes, his ambitions? Why don't you come to China as I went to America—with an open mind?" "You're on," said O'Higgins, briskly. She resumed her on guard position, and glaring steadily at him, waited again. ’ She was too distressed to bear this. Inquiring for Mrs. ’ ‘Then leave me to guard myself, and do not ask me questions any more,’ she snapped, and crouched down suddenly, searching about for her dagger. Where is Sir Rowland?" "In the library, your ladyship. I didn’t think—I don’t know what I thought.
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