The subterranean level of the Diedermayer house was fully bedecked with every luxury known to mankind. She tried to imagine the collective effect of the Fadden Ball; she had never seen a fancy-dress gathering in her life. The spectacle seemed to afford as much amusement to Jonathan as to the actors engaged in it. "I'm prudence personified. Annabel is my only sister, you know, almost my only relative. Where the stuff came from was always a mystery. “The horse’s knees are broken, and I am not sure that the man is sober. To prevent the recurrence of any such escape as that just described, it was deemed expedient, in more recent times, to keep a watchman at the top of Newgate. Afterward he stole out of the room with the bloodstained sheet to boast her virginity to his brothers and father, which only truly mattered because she was beautiful, her mother had said. Then a surge of rage welled up. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. They are things faint and slight in themselves, as physical facts, but they are like the detonator of a bomb: they let loose the explosive. I hated the stuff.
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